Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

Chapter 5 captures a pivotal moment in Sow and Friedman’s friendship when Sow’s health issues begin to test the strength and adaptability of their bond. Sow was diagnosed with iron-deficiency anemia. This marked the onset of a challenging journey through chronic illness, requiring frequent emergency room visits, blood transfusions, and intimate procedures. Sow entered a cycle of retreating inward, pushing friends away out of fear of becoming a burden, and then further isolating herself due to the depression stemming from her health struggles.

Amidst these trials, Sow grappled with the desire for privacy and the fear that her friends, including Ann, might grow tired of her health saga and drift away. This dynamic introduced a significant stretch in the friendship between Sow and Friedman, testing their ability to maintain closeness despite the physical distance and the heavy emotional toll of Sow’s illness.

Ann found herself in a difficult position: She wanted to support Sow without overstepping boundaries. She decided to check in with mutual friends for updates, a strategy that left her feeling both grateful for their shared network and guilty for potentially breaching Sow’s privacy.

Sow and Friedman liken the concept of stretching in friendship to physical stretching, saying that flexibility, strength, and health are important to both muscles and relationships.