H Is For Hawk

MacDonald recounts White’s struggles with Gos, his hawk. His journals betray his shame that the training isn’t going better. He alternates between overfeeding and starvation. He strokes the hawk to an unhealthy degree. She can imagine the hawk’s pain due to her familiarity with universal traits of the hawk, but she had a harder time pinpointing White. Neither his writing nor the photographic evidence from the time pin down his personality. Throughout his life, he tried different styles of dress and bearing, with none of them fitting comfortably. Two things are clear about White: he was a homebody and an alcoholic. This latter trait causes him to self-sabotage, particularly in regard to Gos’s training.

Nevertheless, mood swings are common to both hawk and falconer even in the best circumstances. One hour, MacDonald will be admiring the happy contentment of Mabel, and the next hour, she will despair at her disobedience. She has trouble getting Mabel to accept her exquisitely made hood for travel to new places and for deepening her training. It is a frustration that leads to tears. Nevertheless, when she takes Mabel to her trainer, Stuart, he remarks at how well-behaved and calm Mabel is being.